For Children of Mothers

It’s been well over a year that Mom was diagnosed with ALS. It was quite a shock to all of us especially to her. Needless to say that it has been an emotional roller coaster. From anger to tears of deep sadness.

ALS is cruelly and slowly crippling Mom. It started by atrophying the muscles in her left hand. Today that hand is a mere claw of skin and bone. The end will no doubt be choking to death. And she knows this.

Ah but it could be worse… she could have gone in a car crash without saying goodbye. ALS offers the longest and cruelest of all goodbyes but you know, I’m glad for it. This time has taught me so much. It taught me to love her more. It taught me to look back and appreciate everything that she did for me in my life with her. It taught me to put every petty thing of our past behind me. It taught me that this time is “all about her”. It taught me to pick up the phone every time I think of her because one day I won’t be able to. I had a nice chat with her on Saturday. She puts me on speakerphone when I call because it tires her too much to hold it. Her breathing is laboured because her diaphragm muscles are growing weaker. It tires her to speak. Her voice is raspy and faint. One day it will be gone. Just like one day she will be.

This summer she asked my sister and I if we would help with the caretaking when the time came. Definitely, we would. You see she wants to stay home until the end. She wanted to be sure that she’d be able to do this before investing in any special home modifications. This fall they put in a ramp for her wheelchair and an elevator. It has given her a renewed freedom. Ever so small but when you sit in a recliner all day; I understand that a little outing goes a long way, even if it is to get your flue shot.

Her days are numbered. I wished I lived closer…and so does she.

Cherish your Mom and be good to her.

With love,

Caroline

Nothing Lasts For Ever But The Earth And Sky

But memories are sure nice!

It all began when Mom invited her brother Daryl for a visit. Daryl is the eldest of five and lives in Cranbrook, British Columbia. At seventy-four, he is an avid hiker (he hiked the Grand Canyon last spring: top to bottom, bottom to top), has a keen eye for a good picture and makes his own fly fishing rods. Cool guy! "Daryl is coming to visit," Mom announced this past summer. "We'll be there," was my reply. As the visit date grew closer, the plan evolved. Mom's younger siblings accepted her "Wouldn't it be nice" idea.

Mom and Dad live on Lake Louisa in the Laurentians north of Montréal. We refer to their home as "the cottage" since that's what it was before they moved there permanently some twenty odd years ago. The question begging to be asked: Where on earth would everyone sleep? Problem solved, Mom and Dad found an available cottage up the hill, by the spring, a stone throw away from their place. So that is how I found myself moving into 131 chemin Seale for the last week of September. Travelling from Timmins Ontario, Wayne (70) and Trina (58) were the first to arrive. From Pine Falls Manitoba, Terry (60) and his wife Louise followed two days later. That same day, Dad and I drove to Dorval Airport to pick up Daryl.

During their stay, relatives navigated between Mom and Dad's place down the hill to the cottage up the hill. Some drove to town for a bit of shopping and sightseeing while others went to look for old stomping grounds. People came and went as they pleased in between breakfast, lunch and dinner.

On Thursday evening everyone gathered "up the hill" for a fine steak dinner BBQ. Patio furniture was brought in from outside along with chairs to sit everyone. My brother Bud, aka Daniel, was the chef BBQ-er and cooked everyone's steak to perfection and to top it all, he prepped a mean Greek salad! Louise was the potato-pro and table setter extraordinaire. Simple meal. Great crowd of people. We chowed loudly, laughing and talking! Much to everyone's chagrin Mom had a bit of a spell before dinner and asked to be driven home. She did rejoin us a little later.

After dinner the guitar came out and we broke into song. Darcy Farrow, well...maybe not Darcy Farrow. Perhaps it was more that everything came together when Darcy Farrow was sung. Eyes met and tears were shed. I'll never forget it.

For reasons dear to her, Mom called her family to gather in the month of September. In our hearts, we all know the reason but dare not speak it.

Trials, Sorrow, Hope

My very precious parents

 Enough trials to make you strong,

Enough sorrow to keep you human,

Enough hope to make you happy.

I took this home after a day on the back roads. I laid the plaque on the hallway stand and read it every time my eyes came across it. It then moved to my boudoir desk, and nowadays it rests on our bedroom dresser. At the time, my trials and sorrow had been few and this I knew when I read these lines for the very first time in the late fall of '09.

Spring of 2010, Dad's kidneys failed and Mom developed a mysterious physical condition. This is when true trials and sorrows entered my life. Today, Dad is doing fabulously well. Mom has been diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) aka Lou Gehrig's Disease.


The clock is ticking. I want to capture every single precious moment. Must be strong. Selfless. Compassionate.

Waupoos :: Day XIII

Waupoos sunflowers!

 Oh how I love Waupoos and the County! Who doesn't? The water is beautiful, the country side very pastoral and the folks oh so nice. Arrived on Monday. Anchored out and swam after an 8 hour crossing from Oswego. So hot. It's always good to come back here. It feels like home and I have a feeling that it will be one day.

Tuesday was a perfect day for chores. Despite the rain I went to shore to do laundry, shower and taxy to Picton for provisions. A high wind forecast convinced most people to seek the shelter of a better anchorage or to tuck into the marina. I chose the marina to recharge the batteries and to peddle around the county roads. Black River Cheese is always a treat for its ice cream. The ride justifies the calories! Then back tracked to Waupoos Winery where I sampled a few wines.

Waupoos Winery

 As much as I want to like the county wine, it's a tough sell. I don't know what it is. Is it the soil, the age, the  climate, the method? Diane? I started with an Auxerrois (fresh and lively on the nose with hints of apples, pears and citrus fruit. Nicely balanced with a crisp dry finish. Pairs best with white fish ), followed by a Chardonnay Select 2008 (baked apples & pear on the nose follows through to the palate. Nice depth to this unoaked Chardonnay and will pair best with any shell fish), and finished the whites with a Vidal (a lovely sipping wine with nectarine, honey & candied apple on the nose. Lively on the palate with notes of tangerine carrying through to fresh orange zest with a slightly off dry finish. Pair with grilled chicken or spicy cuisine) which I liked and which I will serve with tonight's Indian meal. I sampled the reds. I started with a peppery Pearl Noir 2009 (plums and blackberries with the hint of chocolate and pepper, this wine is a pleasant sipper. Well balanced acidity makes it a perfect food wine with Bolognese or tomato sauces). I tried 2 or 3 others and gave up. Again, I want to love these county wines but... overly dry, tongue stripping are not qualities that I look for in a wine. Oh dear... I sound like such a snob. Someone educate me please!

So I finish this post with memories of a very special visit. A couple of years ago, my folks were invited to a wedding in St Catharines. They drove up with my great aunt Sybil. We agreed that they would pick me up in Waupoos since I was going to be there on the boat. I prepared a meal and they came aboard to enjoy it. Dad was familiar with the boat. When we first got it, he joined me for a weekend of sailing. As for Mom, it was her first time to see it and in all of her 90 years, Aunt Sybil had never stepped foot on a sailboat. I will cherish that moment forever! I'm glad I took some pictures to better remember it!

Mom and Dad

Aunt Sybil

A very special moment!